When things aren’t going your way, they aren’t going your way. Premiership club Portsmouth are rooted at the bottom of the table and find themselves in a financial crisis, which has gotten so bad that they are not only failing to pay their staff on time, but they have been forced to shut down their official website, and can’t even pay their electricity bills for the stadium’s lighting anymore. To complete the fiasco comes news that the Premiership manager caught visiting a brothel in Southampton two months ago was none other than Pompey manager Avram Grant.

With a wife and two children, this is sure to bring more negativity onto the club at a time they really don’t need it. The report is only coming out now due to the landmark case that lifted the media gag on John Terry’s extramarital affair, but ironically it is Terry that must be feeling a bit relieved now that he has someone else to take the shameful attention off him. As they say, misery loves company.

Grant admitted his visit to reporters, but the club have stood by their manager and said they didn’t want to comment and spoil the current “fighting spirit” at the club. Seems to me, though, that Pompey will need a bit more than zest to get out of their current situation. In fact, things seem so bad right now, one wouldn’t be surprised seeing the entire team hitting the brothels and forgetting their worries at the end.

The video above shows highlights of the goals, including some huge missed chances, but the own goals at the 1:22 and 3:22 marks are truly some of the best (or worst) ones you’ll see. We’re not talking about rebounds off a defender or last-gasp clearances that end up in the back of the net—we’re talking about clean, almost calculated strikes on goal that any striker would have been proud of.

Equally as amusing are the guilty players’ reactions. Constant Djakpa’s own goal (maybe the best/worst one) prompts him to fall horror-stricken to the ground, head in hands, as if wanting to wake up from a nightmare. Karim Haggui can only laugh when he scores his second (yes, second) and last goal of the game, and why not? By that point, if you can’t laugh at what’s going, you have to cry.

The pitch doesn’t look to be in that bad of a condition, but looking at most of the goals, you have to wonder whether there was an ice hockey ring beneath the grass. In any case, one can only wish for more amusing games like this. Unless you’re a Hannover fan.

“We didn’t underestimate them; they were just a lot better than we thought.”

“Don’t ask me what a typical Brazilian is because I don’t know what a typical Brazilian is. romatio is a typical Brazilian.”

“We dropped two points against Ipswich and I mean that sincerely.”

“The margin is very marginal.”

“In a year’s time, he’ll be a year older.”

“The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important.”

“I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football.”

“If you count your chickens before they hatch they won’t lay an egg.”